Some say "Why?" Some say "Why not?"

Hello 2020!! I hope everyone had a great New Year. It is crazy to think it is not only the end of another year, but an entire decade. In 2010 I was embarking on an entirely different journey then I had pictured for myself. This past decade was where I experienced the most personal growth, and stopped saying “Why?” and instead started saying “Why not?”

Self-doubt is inevitable. In my opinion, it is linked to our ego and our environment. I believe you can overcome any self-doubt you may beholding on to. Have you heard the saying “Confidence is silent, and insecurities are loud.” Who do you see when you picture someone who is truly confident in who they are? I’ve always been attracted to people who are unapologetically themselves. We all have different areas of our lives where we are confident, and we all have areas that we lack confidence. When I was asked to elaborate on self-doubt it was in relation to my career. The truth is that I have always had a decent amount of confidence in my career. I cannot quite explain it, but I was meant to be in the Operating Room. There is an energy in the OR. As an OR nurse one of your most important skills is the ability to anticipate. Your eyes and ears have to be everywhere; the OR has this energy about it you can truly feel someone’s confidence or hesitation. I experienced first hand the energy of certain medical reps that would come in our room. As mentioned previously, I was on the open-heart team. I did not volunteer for this position. I was the new, young kid on the block, and was assigned this task. Hopefully he never reads this, but the heart surgeon at our hospital was not known for being chill or kind, at all LOL. I actually really like him, and still talk to him today. He is my buddy, and often with age, people change. I often like the people who are the most difficult (shocker LOL), and because he had a “reputation,” no one wanted to be on his team. In this case, I was the lucky winner. I am not patting myself on the back, but I was naturally good at being a scrub nurse.The scrub nurse is the one who is actually handing the instruments to the surgeon, and anticipating what is needed next. Long story short, this surgeon is the only one who intimidated me as a nurse. As time passed, I won him over.  I will never forget other nurses saying that I could get away with anything because I was “young and cute.” This made me angry, so I became determined to be the best nurse. I earned everyone’s respect, and started being very “Reenie.” I held nothing-back LOL! I actually enjoy the challenge of a people who intimidate me, and I see it as an opportunity to show them the value I have. I am always striving to bring as much clinical value to my job as I possibly can.  I took the confidence I possessed as a nurse, and put that into my job in device sales. I knew they would feel my energy if I was doubting myself. Now this does not mean I was a “know it all.” When I say I became very “Reenie,” that means I always spoke my mind. I asked questions. I admitted if I didn’t know something. I never pretended to have the answers. I would always say “I don’t know, but I will find out.” When you tell the truth and stay humble people don’t see this as self-doubt, they see it as confidence. No one knows all the answers, and there is nothing worse than being fake.

As stated before, there are always different areas in your life where you will lack confidence. Unfortunately, in today’s society it is easy to get caught up in the comparison game. Scrolling social media can be a mental disaster for some people. I think, I too have been caught up in this. I am not sure if it is age or experience, but I promise that things are not always what they seem. If you do not know people personally, then you cannot assume anything. Social media is and always will be a highlight reel.

When it comes to self-doubt, the most important lesson I can share is that the devil will always work on you. Wherever our areas of weakness reside, he will find them. As soon as he knows what they are he will keep your mind there. The closer you get to peace, the harder he will fight. If our mind is always focused on negativity such as self-doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, and sadness, etc., it leaves little room for peace. The devil (evil or ego) wants you in a state of distress, and God (the Universe for some) wants you in a state of peace. The closer you get to attaining peace the harder the devil will try and draw you back.

I contemplated breaking this piece into two, and I still may do that for the sake of time. I am pausing here to really take the time to go over my career, and acknowledge where I may have doubted myself. When I decided to move on from the hospital, I did not want to pigeon hole myself. I simply decided I wanted “more.” The hospital I worked at was a small community hospital, and after five years I needed a greater challenge. I did want something more lucrative, but I also wanted something to push me. I was feeling stagnant. I did not only go online and apply to sales positions, but I also applied to larger cardiac programs, trauma centers, and a children’s hospital. While it can be a great feeling to be “comfortable” in a career, it is an even better feeling to push yourself into something that may start as uncomfortable, but ends up fitting exactly where you needed to be. We are all different, and that is what makes the world go around, but it is my belief that we are all called to “greatness.” I can only imagine how many dreams self-doubt and fears have killed. Don’t allow this to happen to you.

I have been at my current position for almost five years, and I still admit that I don’t know it all, but I am always pushing myself to learn more and become better; that is how you face self-doubt, always know there is something more to learn or further to go in a career.

This week, I challenge us to examine why we tend to doubt ourselves, and in what areas of your life? Why do we look around as others achieve their dreams, and think that we too, are not capable?  

“The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.” Robert H. Schuller

To Be Continued……

All My Love,

Reenie

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