Turn On The Light

Traveling every week for years taught me a ton about myself, and how to "roll with the punches." I never quite understood some of the rude behavior I witnessed as I traveled. While I know that everyone has their bad days, and each person has their own daily struggles I could never relate to people who took out their "bad mood" on others. I remember seeing an older man yell at a gate agent for a canceled flight as though she could control the snow that was falling from the sky. While no one wants their plans screwed up learning to deal with curve balls during travel can teach you a lot. There are a lot of parallels in traveling, and life. Most of us are control freaks. Some are worse than others. I, myself used to be much worse. I have learned to control what I can, and not worry about anything else.What can you control? You can control your reactions. You can control your behaviors. You can control how you treat people. I am a great traveler. If you want to have fun traveling, and you too are a good traveler we’d be a good match!! I am so free when I travel. I am able to navigate around, and I am not intimidated by unfamiliar surroundings. Being delayed, or having things change on a dime doesn’t usually irk me. I once sat in an airport and watched my flight get delayed eight times until it was finally canceled. Last November I was in the airport for nine hours, boarded a flight only to deboard again hahaha. If I am in fact annoyed by something I never take it out on anyone who has nothing to do with it. Ok so that said I have to reflect on the events of this past Monday. Many of you have told me you feel like when you read the blog you are with me. I love that feedback. The blog makes me think a lot about my past, what I have learned, and how I want to express it here. I was thinking about the above topic after I posted last week, and I must have jinxed myself. As many of you probably know I recently had braces put on, and let me tell you it has not been fun haha. I had them as a kid, but I really don't remember this torture. We all know kids are quite resilient. I have a job that is quite demanding of my time so I don’t make plans Monday thru Friday. I have no schedule, and when I need to keep an appointment I take the day off. So when I got a call from the Orthodontist saying they needed me to come in for five minutes to confirm something for my treatment plan I wasn’t exactly thrilled.The 45 min drive on a Monday night wasn’t something that seemed “easy.” When I left Monday for my drive I put this calming prayer thing on in the car. It’s not worth mentioning what prayer it was or whatever, but I have to set this up for you. I am not the world’s calmest driver. I think it’s amusing, and I don’t like driving with many people unless they get my “driving style.”  The people who get it are usually entertained, and the people who don’t are usually scared hahahaha. Ok so prayer on in the background, and I come to a four way stop where everyone takes their turn. Well the dude in front of me was not taking his turn. So I said “Seriously you freaking moron? GO!” There may have also been an F bomb in there. Oops!! I mean he couldn’t hear me, but I was laughing so hard. I am like, only me with this calming prayer on would be yelling like a straight up lunatic. Prayers, & F bombs is so very me. So here I am laughing, but still reflecting on the fact that I was driving 45 min for a 5 min appointment and I was SO annoyed! I said to God, “This is so not like me, and only you can give me the grace to get me in a better mindset before I get there.”  There was a split second where I understood these “bad mood people” and I didn't want to be bitchy to the girls at the front desk!! We all have witnessed those people who get their feathers all ruffled, and take it out on people who have nothing to do with the situation. I really was not happy with myself at this time. I so badly wanted to snap out of it. When I got to the orthodontist I dropped something in my car, and when I looked under the seat there was 8700 toothpicks. I started laughing, because this is my new life of disgusting stuff like dropping toothpicks because everything gets caught in my teeth. It is seriously so nasty. Let's all take a moment to pray my future husband isn't reading this haha. When I checked in the girl walked me back, and I said to her “I don’t even know why I am here.” She let me know they had to make sure the scan of my jaw was correct. I have a personality that really enjoys getting a fun reaction out of people. Seeing people laugh makes me happy! I guess in many ways I am a simple person. The orthodontist showed me the scan of my jaw, and teeth, and explained that he needed to make sure this was my bite, because if it wasn’t then the treatment would have been totally screwed up. I quickly went from annoyed to grateful. As they were pulling my cheeks apart (that sounds so bad lol) and taking photos that were anything, but attractive I turned to them and said “Do you think I can get copies of these for my Match.com profile?” The orthodontist, and the girl taking the photos burst out laughing. Well that was it. I was now in the best mood. In my head I was like THANK YOU GOD! I am back. I had flipped the switch.I mean I literally could not understand what my problem was. I just do not usually succumb to a bad mood, and never because of something so dumb. I left there with this thought, “Only I can control how I react, and how long I dwell on something will in fact affect where my mind goes.” I started harping on this appointment from the time it was made. That is many, many minutes wasted on something that couldn’t be changed, and something that in the end was to make my life better, or at least my jacked up teeth better! When life throws you a curve ball I want to make a suggestion. Whether the curve ball is something silly, or something large I encourage you to take a step back before reacting. Now we are all human so do not be hard on yourself when you feel "off," or are in a bad mood, but please do not let it seep into your pores so much that it affects those around you.

Now this story was about something minor, but when I truly learned to “Let Go, and Let God” in all areas of my life I had a lot more peace. Obviously we have talked about the fact that I am almost 38 and single. Trust me I hate to point that out again hahaha. Sometimes I think people panic over this for me LOL. People often love giving you their opinion even when you don’t ask. Gotta love that. I’d love for people to STOP asking me about a topic that can possibly make me feel like shit on a given day, but since that hasn’t happened I had to adjust my reactions. I know that people usually ask more out of curiosity, or because they care. I also know that if I was 30, and married with two kids that my story may impact less women. The truth is I could be married, and I am not just talking about Rob (insert wide eyed emoji.) Those stories are coming LOL. One lesson I'd love for many women to learn is that marriage, and kids DOES NOT equal happiness. More often than not I hear unhappy stories from married people. There are more relationships I see where I say damn that’s what we call “love.” I do not believe the only way to be happy is in a relationship. By this time we all know my dreams of having a family, but I will NOT be that girl who defines happiness as marriage, and kids. I will embrace each day, and find happiness in those twenty-four hours. I will not try to mold the wrong man into the man God has for me, and I will not harp on the fact that I am not necessarily getting what I WANT, but I will continue to focus on the fact that I have everything I NEED. I could lie to you, and say I have felt like this way for a long time, but the truth is it took years of prayers, practice, and many, many tears. I believe my story, no matter where it goes will have a happy ending, because I will make it that way. This was the biggest switch I had to flip in my life. I feel as though we all have an area like this.

This week I challenge you to look at your life, and see what is keeping you tethered to that feeling of "control." Is this one area disturbing your peace??

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"Darkness can't exist in the light. Flip the switch, and follow the light." Anonymous

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Next week I will pick up where we left off in the summer of 2010!!

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To Be Continued……

All My Love,

Reenie

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